CHAPTER 8: The Perfect Storm

After eyeing each other for a brief moment, the user rushed towards me with his blades drawn ready to strike, but I noticed that he left himself unguarded from a counterattack. He unleashed a furious rain of sword strikes at me with a very quick and fluid motion, but I dodged them all with ease. I was surprised at how fast he was moving, but he couldn’t quite match my agile dodging. When I saw an opening, I jammed the hilt of one of my daggers into his stomach and, with the help of some dark magic, threw him through the rotted wooden walls of this shed and outside into the rain, which was now falling at a steady rate. I jumped through the gaping hole in the wall and looked at his pitiful body lying on the ground. I expected him to be grimacing in pain or trying to stand up with difficulty, but instead he started to get up with little or no injury.

“Very good,” he said, now on his feet and brushing the dust off his uniform, “You are very skilled…I’m somewhat impressed…but how good are you?” It was amazing how my attack, which could normally knock out an untrained opponent, barely even scratched this guy. “I might have to break out some out some of my real moves…” He said as he took a step towards me, readying another attack. I decided to stay on the defensive as he leapt towards me with his blades spinning wildly in the air. I dodged the attack again and prepared another counterattack but he already started pummeling me again with his swords. I was surprised at just how fast he could maneuver those rather large weapons and heavy weapons. Now with much difficulty, I managed to elude the sharp blades, which were coming at me from every angle, having to use my dagger several times to block an incoming blow. He then pulled one of his swords back and thrust it so fast and furiously that it broke through my defenses and ripped my robe near my left arm. I was slightly distracted by the ripping noise, which my guard was lowered for a second. That was all the time my opponent needed to kick me in the face, punch me in the ribs and kick me down to the ground.

I was in a bit of pain, but I didn’t want to show any sign of weakness in front of my opponent. That is one of an assassin’s flaws in battle; there isn’t much room for bulky body armor, so every strike against me did some significant damage. He approached me while I was still on the cold ground with the rain falling on my face and muttered, “How does it feel? How does it feel to be without the element of surprise? You’re all useless without it.” When he finished his sentence, he swung one of his swords over his head and then down at the ground towards me. I rolled to the left to evade the attack and quickly sprang up to my feet. “At least you have the will to fight,” he said, looking confident in his skill. Before I let him continue his speech, I switched to more of an offensive mindset, and tried to stab him right in the gut. I swiftly jabbed my right dagger forward, only to have it meet the steel of the user’s blade. Expecting that my strike would be blocked, I tried to surprise him by swinging my other dagger towards the side of his head, but he ducked down and performed a sweeping kick in an attempt to trip me. Noticing this, I leapt up and shot a deep purple blast of energy towards him from the tip of one of my blades, which made contact with his chest and knocked him down to the ground again. I raced over to his body and attempted to impale his stomach with a dagger, but he performed a rather fancy backflip to get out of the way and swung his blade towards my head mid-flip. I ducked under the swing and threw a dagger at his left foot, which made contact and stuck with the blade sticking into the user’s boot.

I thought I had won with that swift attack, but that feeling was quickly put to rest as the user just smiled and removed his boot. To my dismay, there was so much padding in the boot that the blade of the dagger was not long enough the reach the user’s flesh. Sensing my frustration, he pulled the dagger out of his boot and mockingly tossed it in a puddle at my feet. “Did you really think you could beat me so easily? A true fighter is always prepared, not that a pathetic rogue like you could know anything about that…” He said as I picked up my dagger, although I think he may have been under the misconception that I was fighting at my maximum capacity. “I will admit… you do have some skill…” He remarked as I remained silent, “but can you handle this?” Upon saying this, my opponent held one of his swords high over his head and a mass of blue energy began to form towards the tip. He swung the sword down while shouting some phrase that I couldn’t hear and the powerful aura traveled quickly across the ground towards me. It was not too difficult to dodge, but he continued to fire them in rapid succession. I imagine that these blasts would be nearly lethal, but I was more than able to continue avoiding his attacks while simultaneously trying to move closer towards my foe so I could possibly stop this assault. Towards the end of the barrage, he sent one particular wave of energy at me that was faster and larger than the others and had a green color instead of blue. I leapt up in the air and cast a dark magic spell that sent a ball of dark energy towards him, which collided with his attack and diverted it away from me. When he realized that this tactic was ineffective, he looked at me and said, “Not bad…” He paused for a moment, contemplating his next move. Then he continued on with confidence, “Let’s try this now.” The user assumed a new fighter’s stance and I knew that he was going to rush in at me and attack from close range.

We both charged forward simultaneously and became locked in an exchange of strikes and parries. I think that, during this series of attacks, my adversary was fighting at his full potential as he was almost able to keep pace with my movements. His slight drop in speed was made up for with his power, as I now felt that each of his blows struck my dagger with a little more force than I could return. After a while of continuing this tactic, I was beginning to tire, I did not want to show any signs of weakness and give my opponent an opening. However, I could also see beads of sweat dripping from my adversary’s forehead and it was as if we were evenly matched. I was constantly dodging attacks: high, low, left, right, and every other direction possible while delivering similar attack patterns, but to no avail. He and I could both tell that we were having a tough time maintaining this level of speed and strength for this extended period of time.

Finally, after a long exchange of parries and blocked attacks, my mind conceived a plan that would hopefully catch him off guard. I disengaged with the user, performing a backflip, and threw one of my daggers at his face in midair. The dagger whizzed towards his face and I could tell that he was unprepared for a projectile attack after this long exchange of direct combat. At the last possible moment, he ducked down and dagger zoomed past his head, slicing off a few strands of his brownish hair and landing on the ground nearby. Standing about ten feet from me, he looked back at me with a devious grin and said, “I have to hand it to you…that attack was unforeseen… but now you have only one weapon. That’s a foolish move, my friend.” “Don’t be so sure…” I exclaimed, holding out my hand. A purplish aura surrounded my hand and the dagger that I threw began to twitch on the ground. Then is disappeared in a flash and rematerialized in my vacant hand, much to the user’s dismay. I could tell that the other user was impressed with my tactics and smiled. “Hmm…You’re unlike any thief I’ve fought before.” He paused, waiting for a reaction, but I remained still. “All of the others seem to be out for money… you seem to have more… determination. I understand now…I know now exactly who you are…” I replied, “As I said before, don’t judge me by my appearance.” He smiled and said, with that once-cocky tone eliminated from his voice, “I’m glad that you are also a man of your word.”

Just then, a loud alarm pierced the night air, interrupting the battle, causing us to both look up at the gargantuan factory. NSider Industries’ alarm was triggered; whether it was by our actions or another incident was unknown. In any event, we both knew what this meant. Being the largest factory in the massive land of NSider, this facility was tightly guarded around the clock and, when the alarm went off, the whole island would be swarmed by police in a matter of minutes. We both glared at each other, eager to continue the battle, but knew that now was neither the time nor place to do so. He was the first to speak out, “Your battle skills have earned my respect. This is quite an accomplishment and you should be proud. I will tell you my name.” While this didn’t seem like much of an offer, I knew that a username was a very critical piece of information to have. I nodded and looked back at him, “My name is HoneySyrup. It was a pleasure to meet you and test your skills…ShadowMario41, I know that we will duel again.” I was startled when I heard him say my name. I never addressed him and never leaked any personal information. In the darkness of the night, it would have been impossible for him to see the insignia of my family engraved on my daggers. “H-How did you know my name?” I said with a startled tone of voice. He looked back at me with a smile on his face and said, “One’s fighting style reveals much about character.”

He turned around and started to walk away, disappearing into the darkness of the night. I was about to pursue him and demand more information when I heard the whirring of sirens approaching from all of the three bridges. All of the lights of the massive building turned on, brightly illuminating the island. I frantically looked around for a hiding spot, but it was too bright for me to hide anywhere. The sirens grew louder and louder and I was a bit frustrated that I let the other user escape. “How could he simply slip into the night like that?” I thought for a while, trying to devise an escape plan. Finally, it occurred to me that escaping would not be very difficult, assuming that I predicted the movements of the NSider Police correctly. I hastily made my way towards the bridge that I used to enter the island and hid in the bush that I dove in upon my arrival. Looking out, I saw a massive amount of police cars approaching on the horizon. This was only one-third of the forces en route, as this was just one of the three bridges, but this alone would be enough to overwhelm just about anyone. All of the police cars were now mere feet from my location and I held my breath, hoping this plan would work. Sure enough, all of the cars zoomed past my location towards NSider Industries, creating waves of water as they drove through puddles, and leaving the bridges completely unguarded. I ran out quickly and onto the bridge, stretching my legs for a few seconds as they were a bit sore from the previous skirmish.

I dashed across the suspension bridge at breakneck speeds, heading back towards the Star Fox board to talk to Dr. Peppy again. As I ran towards the mainland of NSider, I reflected on the battle that was in progress just moments ago. “That was…actually fun…” I thought, as I tried to assess my feelings, “I haven’t faced anyone like that in a long time…” I somehow also knew that his final words were entirely true; we would be destined to duel again. My retreat was progressing smoothly until I found a police barricade at the end of the bridge. Luckily, there were only a few officers and cars on patrol and I was able to easily elude them by vaulting off of the hood of one of the vehicles and racing by, leaving the bewildered officers in the dust. Despite their efforts, no amount of orange cones or yellow “do not cross” tape could stop me, especially not during this adrenaline rush I was currently experiencing. I scurried behind a roadside statue and looked out towards NSider Industries, which now looked like a theme park with all of its flashing lights and loud noises. After staring for a minute or two with my robes dripping wet from the rain, I began my trek to Dr. Peppy’s lair, unsure of how he would react to the status of the mission.

CHAPTER 7: Meeting of Mystery

It was nearly 10:00 PM; the sky was dark and cloudy as I took my position behind a dumpster near the bridge that connected the Star Fox board to the lone isle where NSider Industries was located. While it was a good idea to position the massive industrial zone of NSider away from the main community to avoid pollution, it was rather inconvenient for criminals, rogues, assassins, and – for that matter – anyone who didn’t have a vehicle. There were tall, rocky cliffs around the perimeter of the island, so the bridge was the only viable option in my situation since I’ve never been one for swimming. It was a long distance between the two landmasses and sidewalks or any sort of walking lane was noticeably absent, but the one-minute time limit I had to race from one side to the other didn’t pose the slightest problem. With the speed of an assassin such as myself, it was definitely manageable, albeit somewhat tricky.

I reached into the pocket of my robes and pulled out the mysterious red cube. I gently pressed a blinking green light on the side of it and it opened rather dramatically to reveal a small blue pill with a white exclamation mark on the center of it. It didn’t look particularly appetizing, but I had no choice but to ingest it. After some slight hesitation, I reluctantly swallowed the oval shaped pill with no difficulty and noticed instantly that I couldn’t see my post-cranial self. I could feel my arms moving but they had turned invisible. My robes, tools, and even my weapons had also become see-through. Following this brief instant of shock at this technological marvel, I readied myself and started to run across the bridge. It was then that I realized that this wouldn’t be much of a challenge for me to make it across in sixty seconds. After about ten seconds, I was already about a third of the way there. There was no sidewalk, so I was forced to run down the center of the enormous suspension bridge, weaving in and out of cars when necessary. However, this was not very difficult, as traffic was mostly going back towards the mainland of NSider and not out towards the lone island at this time of night.

I dove into a bush on the island right next to the end of the bridge, one of the lone signs of vegetation on this desolate industrial land, and decided it would be a good time to scope out the landscape and pinpoint the most probable meeting place for these two rogues. It would be unwise to rush into a situation without familiarizing oneself with the surroundings, as my dad always told me. Even though the gargantuan factory closed at 9:30 PM, a half-hour before I arrived, there were always stragglers that took a while to leave. Additionally, there were still some guards present on the graveyard shift that had immediate access to NSider’s police force with the push of a button or a simple phone call. I wanted to make sure only a few people were around so I could explore freely without the risk of annoying encounters with employees. After all, NSider Industries is an enormous factory that is the primary site of industrial activity in NSider. Being situated on an island, it helps keep pollution away from the mainland and isolates the rusty buildings from some of the more glamorous structures of the forum. There are three bridges that connect this barren island to the mainland: one that can be accessed from the Star Fox board (the one that I crossed), one that conjoins the island with the NSider Courthouse and another that connects it to Port NSider, which is in close proximity to the Registration Building.

As with all things in this new technological age, NSider Industries is equipped with the latest machinery, resulting in highly efficient and effective operation. It is also highly secure, equipped with a state-of-the-art security system that is almost impossible to penetrate. However, as new factories were being built, the obsolete factories and warehouses remained on the outskirts of the industrial colossus and now serve as eyesores to the general population. As one might expect, they also currently serve as hotspots for thieves; I, myself, have made a few shady deals in the confines of these warehouses. One could say that security is virtually nonexistent on those parts of the island, though it has been a few months since my last visit. To be safe, I decided it would be best to scope out the area in case there were any lone guards roaming the premises.

I snuck past the skyscraper that serves as the main building for NSider Industries and made my way towards some of the antiqued warehouses, making sure to stay out of the range of the security cameras perched on every angle and crevice of the main edifice. Stepping into the outskirts of this island gave the illusion of being in a war zone. Buildings were dilapidated, all forms of vegetation were dried up, and graffiti covered any structures still standing. It was difficult to step anywhere without hearing the crunch of broken glass or feeling dry sand beneath the soles of one’s feet. There was a chilling wind in the air that caused one rusted iron door to continuously open and slam shut and spider webs glimmered and glistened in the moonlight. It was a shame that this once aesthetically pleasing island was transformed into this industrial wasteland, but these sights and others were common to me. The alleyways of NSider aren’t the most visually appealing places to be, either, so the thought didn’t bother me.

I made my way from building to building, trying to make an educated guess on where the criminals would rendezvous. The once bright moon started to cover up with clouds and I could begin to feel the pitter-patter of raindrops on my long black robes. I finally stepped into one last building to escape the rain before I realized the search was futile. There were too many ideal spots for thieves to meet up and it would be impossible for me to simply wait at one spot for my targets. I decided to constantly circulate around these industrial ruins, hoping that I would see one of the rogues or, at least, a sign of where they might meet up. Before I left, though, I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye. Outside one of the murky windows, a mysterious figure was moving slowly and seemed to be constantly checking if anyone was outside. I ran over to the window, peered outside and, sure enough, there was a user cautiously walking away from me towards a small shed-like structure. I heard that pesky iron door slam shut again and the user’s pace quickened. Once the anonymous user entered the small shed, I stealthily followed, figuring that it was one of the users I was looking for.

When I arrived at the building, it seemed as if the only entrance was the way the user went through. Not wanting to risk an encounter with an adversary of great skill, it would be foolish of me to simply walk through the front door. However, after scanning the structure for another way in, I noticed a hole in the ceiling of the shed and a stack of boxes right next to the right wall that I could easily climb up. “Finally, a stroke of luck.” I thought as I climbed the boxes and quietly fell through the hole. It was only a slight drop until I landed quietly on top of a stack of steel crates. I leapt down to the ground, landing inaudibly, and looked around, trying to find this mysterious user. This building was much bigger on the inside than it seemed, perhaps due to the angle at which I initially viewed it. I maneuvered my way around the room slowly and carefully, as I didn’t know where the user would be hidden. Luckily, it was only a matter of seconds before I located the user standing in a corner of the shed, leaning against the wall. It was then I realized why this was the ideal and smart meeting spot. A light from NSider Industries angled perfectly through a broken glass window to provide a dim source of illumination to the room. The shed was large enough so that a group of rogues could fit inside, but small enough so that no one would suspect that anything was going on here. I remained in the back of the room, crouched behind a pile of boxes stacked up to the ceiling and continued to observe the user.

I could tell it was a guy slightly taller than myself, garbed in a dark red shirt lined with silver buttons, wearing brown suspenders that supported faded blue pants. He had boots and gloves that matched his shirt. His spiky brown hair moved slightly in the cold breeze and his brown eyes occasionally shifted around, making sure no one was nearby. Unlike before when I could only see his silhouette, he had an appearance of confidence and poise and it looked like he was patiently waiting for someone else to arrive. I also noticed twin swords resting in brown holsters tied around his waist. I surmised that he was either a highly skilled warrior or a foolish thief who only selected cool-looking weapons. Either way, I couldn’t attack yet, not before I saw who else was involved in this mysterious exchange. The small gold item that Doctor Peppy mentioned also perplexed me, as it could be a multitude of things. Unsure of what the item could be, I nervously glanced at my PM watch to check the time. It read 11:47 PM and both the user and I began to grow more and more anxious for very different reasons. For now, though, waiting was all that we could do. Little did this user know that an expert assassin was only a few feet away and was planning to put an end to his schemes.

After some time, the rain outside suddenly became heavier and the user started to pace in small circles around the room. I glanced down at my watch again, which read 11:59 PM… one minute more of this tense waiting game. At exactly 12:00 midnight, something finally happened. A purple vortex that emanated a bright light appeared in the middle of the room and another user stepped out of the portal, which closed up upon him emerging completely. He was small in stature, but had a frightening aura about him. He wore a purple cape with matching boots and a white mask, behind which the only thing visible was a pair of ominous red eyes. Both of his hands were covered with white gloves and one of which was grasping a strange glowing sword. His weapon seemed too large to be the item Doctor Peppy was mentioning, so I continued to lie in wait.

He glanced around to make sure no one was in the room. After confirming his incorrect assumption, he turned to the other user with a flick of his cape. “Sir,” the user leaned against the wall exclaimed, “I have obtained what you have requested.” “Very good,” the second user replied in a deep voice, “I am very impressed.” “Thank you, sir!” the user garbed in red replied, happy to have appeased the other’s desire. “Now… let’s see that little treasure…” The user reached into the pockets of his faded blue pants and pulled out a golden triangle attached to a silver chain. At first, the triangle appeared dull, but when he held it up in the air, a faint light and strange aura radiated from it. The golden triangle had some sort of inscription on it but I could not read it from my current location. It was obviously an item of high value since this whole fiasco would not be planned out for a petty little exchange. The more I stared at the item, the more I could tell that this meeting was for something serious; not anything to do with money, but something of far greater value to these users.

Wiping some sweat from my forehead with the sleeve of my robe, I slowly inched my way closer and closer to the two users, making sure to remain hidden behind the piles of boxes. “Excellent…” the stout user said menacingly, “Our plan is progressing quite well…” Interrupting the maniacal thoughts of the user with the purple cape, the other user spoke out with an inquiry. “Sir, I mean no disrespect when I ask this, but why this elaborate plan of meeting here? It is just a small little item that could have easily been…” The user instantly stopped talking when met by the piercing red eyes of the other user. “Surely, you do not know the value of this item,” he said with a stern tone, “this is our key to the future.” “I am glad to have been of service,” the user in red replied, showing great respect towards the other user who, from what I could surmise, appeared to be his superior.

I continued to creep closer and closer to the two users, readying myself to make my move when I took one fatal step. My foot rested upon an old plank of wood, which emanated a loud creaking noise that echoed throughout the area. I alarmingly looked up and realized the two users heard the noise as well. After a brief moment of silence and deep concentration by the user who had appeared from the portal moments ago, he spoke out with a deep voice, “It appears that this location is no longer safe. I will meet you back at our headquarters. We will discuss further plans there. Now we have a great thing on our side…” “What do you mean?” the user in red asked, puzzled by the other user’s vague hints. “…A bargaining chip…” With that, the short yet creepy user snatched the golden triangle, twirled his cape and instantly disappeared in a cloud of black smoke.

However, the other user was not about to leave without figuring out the source of that noise. He drew his twin blades from the holsters and assumed a fighter’s stance, from which I could tell that he was a competent swordsman. He then shouted into the darkness, “Oh ye of little honor, I will grant you one chance to reveal yourself to me before I search for you. Will you comply?” I don’t know what made me step out into the light and make myself fully visible to this user, but I reluctantly obliged. Perhaps it was that running would be futile since he knew someone was hiding or that the thought of a challenging battle was exhilarating to me. It could have also been because I was frustrated with myself for getting caught but, either way, I stepped forward into the light and found myself face-to-face with this user as I positioned my hands towards the hilts of my daggers so I could grab them quickly if need be.

“Ah!” he exclaimed upon laying eyes upon my appearance, “another petty thief pillaging NSider Industries for something of minimal material worth. Were you listening in on our conversation?” I sensed that this was a rhetorical question, so I remained silent. “No answer?” He said, slowly shifting towards a tone of voice that hinted towards an unfound sense of superiority, “Well it seems as if you’ve stumbled into quite a tough spot, my friend.” I asserted, hoping to quell the insults, “Do not judge me by my appearance alone.” He paused for a moment and then replied with, “Do you know who you are getting involved with?” I shook my head in disgust and he chuckled, “Well then perhaps, in this case, ignorance is bliss. Regardless, I find that I must kill you, as the information you overheard is top secret. It’s nothing personal really…it’s just that the confidentiality of this mission cannot be compromised, regardless of who the user is.” “That might be more difficult than you think,” I replied back with a hint of confidence in my voice, hoping that he would recognize that I wasn’t about to back down from the challenge. “Well then…” he said, “I am a man of my word… I hope you are too. Prepare yourself!”

CHAPTER 6: Mission Briefing

The PM (short for “private message”) belt is an accessory given to all NSiders upon registration that makes a beeping sound only audible to the wearer when he or she receives a new private message. There are used to send quick and secure messages between users and is a reliable source of communication for all NSiders to use. Once a message is received, a user can open the PM and the selected message will appear on a hologram screen in front of the user, again, only visible to him or her. There are upgrades for the PM belt too, the most popular being the PM watch, which fits nicely around a user’s wrist as opposed to the waist. The watch around my arm was signifying that I had received a new message. Still concealed, I rolled up the long black sleeve of my robes, and pressed a button on the side of the silver sleek metal gadget. The PM came up in front of me.

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FROM: DR_PEPPY Add User to Friends List – Add User to Ignore List

SENT: 08/14/07 – 7:47 P.M.

ShadowMario41, you have been selected. Meet me in the usual spot in one hour.

0494-2843-1919-5577

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While the PM did not explain much, it gave me just enough information to know what I had to do. Dr. Peppy was one of the top-ranked military officials in all of NSider and has a strong reputation for always handling his missions very professionally. He used to be the commanding officer of the Mushroom Kingdom Air Force, but has since stepped down from that role to deal with espionage and other secretive information. However, what separated him from the other faceless generals such as Maverick and Ganondorf8 was that he privately hired assassins and other users for serious missions to serve his purposes. He believed that the military and police force had too many rules, regulations and procedures to abide by whereas privately hired users willing to lend their skills could get the job done quickly, efficiently and secretly. This is something the law enforcement of NSider could never achieve, as they must abide by the forum’s extensive code of laws and limited by the lack of competent officers. While these types of missions are usually highly arduous and dangerous, the pay is very high so it would be foolish for someone of great skill not to accept it. This is Dr. Peppy’s opinion, anyway; I know because he told me before the first mission to which I was assigned.

Speaking of which, I am actually surprised that I landed any future missions after the way the first one turned out. It was about one year ago and I was assigned to intercept two criminals transporting stolen posts scheduled to meet at the NSider Airport. They were believed by all of Dr. Peppy’s sources to just be a couple of thugs, but they were actually highly trained cardinals of the Nicolai93 Organization. It was through this mission that I first learned of the existence of this band of criminals. While I failed to stop the transfer of posts, I did manage to capture one of the organization’s members, GamePlayer30, and turn him into Dr. Peppy for questioning. Interestingly, I clearly remember that the other user present at the scene of the crime didn’t even try to save GamePlayer30 but rather quickly fled the scene. GamePlayer30 didn’t have much of a sense of honor and secrecy, as he spilled the beans about the location of Nicolai93’s headquarters as well as their current and future plans in exchange for his freedom. This resulted in a huge blow to the organization and forced them to move to a location that has, thus far, remained off of the radar. Oddly enough, during the time that the Nicolai93 Organization was inactive, the crime rate of NSider actually rose. The NSider authorities had to be called off the search for Nicolai93 to deal with the steady stream of crimes occurring all over the forum. While the police still search for the new headquarters, their search is not as adamant as in the past and has become nearly nonexistent.

My second mission with Dr. Peppy progressed much more smoothly. I was designated to spy on a meeting between two thugs where supposedly vital information concerning a future crime scandal in NSider was to be discussed. Both muscular criminals spoke very bluntly about the issue and didn’t seem to be very intelligent, so it turned out to be quite a simple task. They talked about robbing a bank and driving off with the stolen posts, but nothing more than that. When I reported back to Dr. Peppy, he was displeased with the simplicity of the information but pleased that I told it to him fully and accurately. He said that I did well and to expect a call from him in the future. This PM, my third mission assigned to me by Dr. Peppy, was apparently what he was talking about.

I closed the PM and glanced over at the trio of X-Naut128, Invader8, and Falcon6 walking into the depths of the Gameplay Help for Newcomers board. It was the oddest combination of a lowly newcomer, and experienced NSiders that I’ve ever seen. Since it would be three days before the pathetic X-Naut and his merry men would be able to leave the newcomer boards, I figured I would easily be able to relocate them once my mission with Dr. Peppy was complete. Besides, I was getting tired of simply spying on my target and was itching for a challenging mission. Thus, I decided to take a break from hunting the X-Naut and venture off to the usual meeting place of Dr. Peppy’s – right behind the Star Fox Fan Art Directory in the Star Fox board. I turned around and prepared to depart when I saw something else of particular interest.

A user dressed in ragged black clothing was crouched behind a bush about twenty feet away, peering out occasionally but quickly retracting for some odd reason. For a brief instant, his eyes met mine and I could tell that it was me he was watching. I wasn’t sure how long he had been spying on me, but I definitely didn’t want someone following me to Dr. Peppy’s headquarters. I raced up behind him so quickly that he didn’t notice and even then it took him a little while before he realized someone was standing over him. “And you are…?” I asked. “Uhh… I was told to… umm…” He was trying to stall as his eyes stared straight at the ground away from mine. I grabbed the front of his robe and hoisted him up in the air, eyeing him sternly. “Who are you?” I asked sternly, which quickly caused the frantic user to speak up. “I’m LuigiTheDude5094. Don’t hurt me…” he responded nervously, with his feet waving frantically in the air. “Why are you following me?” I said, to which he was more hesitant to respond. “I…umm…was told not to say…” “Answer me!” I exclaimed impatiently, as I unsheathed one of my daggers and held it to his neck. “This is your last chance!” “I…can’t…” He said, mustering up the courage that remained inside of him, “I promised the boss that I wouldn’t…” Before he could finish his sentence, I impaled him between the eyeballs with one of my daggers, twisting it to expand the gash. A grunt of hatred was all he was able to mutter before I pulled out my dagger, the blood of the slain user sliding off the blade, and spilling onto the ground as he collapsed in a tangled heap. It was a strange sense of satisfaction for me, as I haven’t made a killing since the random OSider that ThePastaKing asked me to deal with. I twirled my daggers and slid them back into the holsters as I walked away from the murder, satisfied with my fatal strike.

Although it was odd that some lowlife was spying on me, I decided it would be best to pay it no mind for now and focus strictly on my mission with Dr. Peppy before I dealt with that. I continued towards the Star Fox board, wondering what assignment would be given to me. It was on the other side of NSider, so it was a long journey, especially since I had to keep to the shadows. Luckily, the trip progressed pretty smoothly, except for a minor annoyance where a user was showing off her brand new Spazier near the Metroid board and nearly destroyed all of the buildings around her. I arrived at the Star Fox Fan Art Directory just in time and easily snuck around to the back despite the high number of police officers present. My guess is that Dr. Peppy orders a group of officers to stand near his headquarters to help maintain secrecy, even though the lax force didn’t seem to be very active in their duties. Perhaps the mere presence of a policeman is enough to make inexperienced users stiffen up. The police have never intimidated me and I have no intentions of quivering in fear any time soon.

The rear of the sleek and modern building looked like a dump. In the alley behind the building, rusted dumpsters lined the dirty walls, which were covered in a mess of tangled ivy. There was a small keypad on the wall next to a rat chewing on a moldy piece of cheese in a dented aluminum trash barrel, so I punched in the code enclosed in the PM. A green light flashed from the white keypad and the brick wall in front of me slowly split apart in a cloud of dust, revealing a large silver door with all sorts of symbolic insignias on it from top to bottom. When I took a step forward, the doors opened automatically, revealing a large room lined wall-to-wall with computers, radars and other highly advanced pieces of technology.

The main attraction of the room was the extremely large chrome table in the center covered from corner to corner with an aged map of NSider and various hand-crafted figures placed around it, filling the map. The last time I’ve been to this room, about a year ago, the figures were all stationary and there weren’t nearly as many. However, with the exception of a few, the thousands of figures were in motion; some seemed to be navigating the alleys of NSider while others wandered aimlessly in the town square. Some were battling in the NSider Colosseum and others were conversing in houses and shops. I figured I would inquire about this after the briefing, as I didn’t want anything, not even insignificant ignorance, to come between this job offer and my potential payout.

I stepped inside on the white marble floor and the door slowly closed behind me. A man from across the room eyeing one of the computer monitors turned around to face me and slowly walked closer. He was a little shorter than the average user, but made up for it with his high intellect. He was average weight and wore a blue military uniform, complete with medals on the breast and insignias on the sleeves. His tan boots emanated intimidating thumps as he made his way towards me. Pushing up his oval-framed glasses that were inching towards the bottom of his nose, he spoke to me softly, “ShadowMario41… we meet once again. Thank you for responding in a timely manner.” An expression of satisfaction crossed his face, but I remained composed and simply replied, “Do not allow my appearance to taint my reliability.” “Of course,” he said, “You are one of NSider’s best after all.” While it was nice to be complimented by a user of such significance, this meeting was strictly about business.

Sensing that I wanted to get to work, Dr. Peppy then said, “An item of vital importance was stolen from the NSider Barracks this afternoon by an unidentified user. General Banzai guarded this item, so if someone could overwhelm him, I am afraid that his or her power would be too great to establish some sort of police scheme. I have received a report from another source that the user plans on transferring the item to the boss of the operation. The meeting of the two criminals will occur on the outskirts of NSider Industries in a few hours… at about midnight to be exact. Thus far, neither the public nor the media have any knowledge of this event. If you stop it, it will be as if it never happened.” While his monologue was vague, I knew that I would be battling a formidable foe tonight to retrieve some sort of item. “What exactly is the item?” I inquired, hoping to get some more specifics. Dr. Peppy looked at me, apparently not expecting me to ask a question. Running his hand through his short-length slicked back gray hair, he replied, “It’s small and gold. You’ll know when you see it.”

After a brief pause, he continued on, “The problem is, as you know, NSider Industries is on a lone island in the sea, connected by only three bridges, one of which is right near this board. On those bridges, there is no cover or anything for you to hide behind. It might seem strange if a skilled assassin was running across a bridge in the open. Even with your speed, odds are someone will notice you. Therefore, I have arranged an alternative means of transportation.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out a small red box and gave it to me. “To cross the bridge without being spotted by anyone, ingest the contents of this box when the time comes. You will be invisible for one minute, which, even though the bridge is quite massive, should give you enough time to sprint to the other side.” I nodded subtly and placed the cube inside one of the pockets of my black robe. “As always, this meeting must remain secret. Nothing I have said will leave this room, correct?” Again, I nodded and made a silent vow between the experienced military general. “Good… this plan will work out excellently. Give me the item and you’ll get your money. Now, off you go.” With a swift hand gesture, he motioned me to leave; a smirk crossing his face as he turned around. “Sir,” I spoke up unexpectedly and uncharacteristically, “what are those figurines f –” “Pay it no mind,” he said hastily. “But Doc...” I broke out again, demanding an answer in a passive-aggressive manner, but was only given the same “Pay it no mind,” in a much more serious tone this time. I was not in any position to complain, as I was just offered a very high-paying job, so I turned around and walked towards the exit.

When I reached the silver door, it opened automatically and I looked back, staring at the back of Dr. Peppy, who was busy studying computer monitors. My attention fixed once more upon the map with the moving figurines. I was interested in what exactly these moving characters were signifying, as Dr. Peppy would not waste his time with something of little importance. These thoughts were quickly interrupted, though, as Dr. Peppy cleared his throat loudly, signifying that I could not linger any longer. I let out a soft disgruntled sigh, focused on the map for another second, and took my leave.

CHAPTER 5: Sagely Savior

About ten minutes had passed and still no sign of the pair that went inside the brick red registration building. I can’t believe that I allowed this elusive target to not only survive but become an NSider on top of all that. I was beginning to grow impatient and being frustrated at myself for getting caught by Invader8 didn’t help the time pass any faster. However, I wasn’t surprised that the registration process was taking this long. Once inside the building, a user must fill out a bit of paperwork before he or she is accepted into the community. Although the required information is basic – name, age, gender, and the like – I’ve heard it does take some time. Being born in NSider, I was given a username and was automatically a registered NSider, so I never had to go through this process. A few users who attend my trivia contest complained to me that the longest part of registration was selecting a username, as it could take several tries before a unique alias was selected that wasn’t already in use. From my understanding, there was always a couple of moderators and an administrator that drove this process, so attacking the X-Naut at this time would be unwise. I impatiently folded my arms, leaned up against a stone wall and waited for the pair to finish.

Finally after another fifteen minutes of waiting, the X-Naut emerged from the registration building accompanied by Invader8 with a name in black text above him that read “X-NAUT128.” It used to be that all users would constantly have their names displayed above their heads, but since some privacy issues arose, only Goombas have to show their names. For all other users, one’s name is only shown overhead when he/she ranks up or is in a position of authority (Water10’s name was visible because she was the judge of the trial). Invader8 also handed the X-Naut his NSider ID card, which recognized him as an official member of the community. Once again a mixture of frustration and disappointment built up inside of me, but I reasoned with myself figuring that he was still a lowly Goomba and an easy target nonetheless. However, the problem now is that I could possibly be banned if I did not kill the X-Naut in secrecy. In addition, the X-Naut was granted a weapon for joining the community and even though it is unlikely that he could wield it properly, I still couldn’t take any chances. His weapon of choice was a medium-sized broadsword, a weapon with a small brown hilt and a wide silver blade that made it a bit difficult to wield but very powerful if mastered. Even though Invader8 was trying to explain some basic sword slashes to him, X-Naut128 still nearly stabbed himself while trying to execute these moves. I snickered at the sight of this, as my thoughts of him being a threat to my superior speed and skill were quickly eliminated. In fact, he was having trouble even holding the heavy sword, so he decided to put it down for a little bit while Invader8 explained some of the basics of NSider.

The X-Naut also had a new uniform, one that looked more like what a typical NSider wears. He had a white cap, white gloves and matching white shoes. His shirt was red with black stripes going diagonally down from one shoulder to the opposite leg, crossing in the center and forming what looked like an X. His legs were very short, but perhaps they were stuffed inside of that tight suit he was wearing. Finally, he wore gold-rimmed goggles that were barely visible between his hat and the suit’s padding that was sticking out of the top of his uniform. I assume he also had the other essentials, like a PM device and a map of the community so he could find his way around. Of course, if I were to be killing him, he wouldn’t have much use for such things.

I put one hand on my dagger as I thought about making my move on the confused user at this very moment. With him now unarmed, it would be extremely simple to end the life of this new NSider. One obstacle was still in my way, though: Invader8. “He did catch me attempting an attack a little while ago, but was that just dumb luck? Did I just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? Is he really as strong as he made himself out to be?” All these thoughts and more raced through my mind but were quickly interrupted by a bright glow in the distance, growing more intense as it headed towards the Registration Building. Many users around the area ran off to hide, leaving the dumbfounded X-Naut standing in the middle of the road with Invader8 at his side, ready to fend off the impending threat.

I glanced over at the orange light, remaining hidden as I did so, until I saw two flamers racing down the street, scorching everything in their path. They were tall and thin, with flames radiating from their heads and hands. The duo approached a Goomba named PrinceYoshi and started toying with him, shooting a special form of blue fire at the NSider, which caused him to have an emotional breakdown. PrinceYoshi tried to fight back, but it was no use against the experienced flamers, as they both raised their large, fiery axes in the air and slammed them down on the NSider, creating a mess of blood and gore. Just then, a voice rang out from my left that said, “HEY U! LEAVE DEM ALONE!” I recognized that voice as the one and only X-Naut128, who wanted to fight off the flamers. I glanced over and saw the X-Naut assume a strange fighting pose as he prepared to challenge the flamers. Even though it was a little too late to save PrinceYoshi, as his body was literally in pieces on the ground, the X-Naut still felt as if he had to be a hero. He slowly walked towards the flamers, who exchanged sarcastic expressions, ready to fight the battle of his life until he came to a sudden realization: he left his sword back at the Registration Building and was thus unarmed.

This NSider was obviously asking to be flamed, whether he knew it or not. The flamers clutched their axes, grinned menacingly and attempted to scare the Goomba by shooting flames from the top of their heads. “EEP!” X-Naut128 screamed as he started to run away in a frantic zigzag pattern with the flamers in hot pursuit. This chase scene didn’t last very long, though, as Invader8 quickly stepped in before the X-Naut had to face these foes and engaged both flamers simultaneously. Right at the battle ensued, I could tell that this was an ensured victory for Invader8 as he was parrying the flamers’ axes and foiling their blunt tactics with ease. He then started doing flips and performing more advanced moves, even though they were unnecessary, to deal with the flamers such as shooting his plasma rifle between his legs and shooting at the flamers’ axes to disarm them. If he were serious about this fight, they would probably have been dead as soon as the battle began.

While Invader8 was busy showing off, something else caught my eye. X-Naut was too busy cheering on his guardian that he didn’t even notice another spammer sneaking behind him, ready to attack the still-unarmed X-Naut. One would think that he would run back to retrieve his weapon before watching the fight, but apparently he was not smart enough to figure this out. The X-Naut turned around and looked at the spammer, who was holding a mace and was ready to slam a spiked iron ball into the face of X-Naut128. Abiding by my vow that I would be the one to kill X-Naut128, I unsheathed my daggers and prepared to perform my signature Shadow Slash once again.

I sprinted out from behind my cover and sliced the letters “SM” into his stomach, then doubled back and slashed “41” and returned to hiding. The X-Naut was a little dazed, since he must have seen two flashes race by him but, nevertheless, the spammer collapsed to the cobblestone road. I was pretty satisfied with my work and twirled my daggers as I slid them back into the holsters, but then a third flash raced towards and stopped in front of X-Naut128. “Oh no…” I groaned and shook my head, “Does this guy have to take credit for everything?” The X-Naut looked up at whom he thought saved his life. It was Falcon the 6^th, also known as the “Hero of NSider.” In my opinion, he was more like the biggest show-off in NSider. As a member of the Sage rank, he had a gleaming golden Triforce badge on his shirt, which immediately impressed X-Naut128. Falcon6 was also extremely tall yet a bit plump, wearing a large red long-sleeved regal robe with gold designs and insignias throughout. He had a blue shirt underneath and a golden belt with the symbol of the Triforce on it, further displaying his proud sagely status. His face did not coincide with his outfit, though, as he had the appearance of a young yet experienced fighter instead of an old veteran. On top of his rounded head, he had on a crown lined with gems of all sorts and his brown elf-like shoes were also gleaming with golden buckles and designs.

“Fair citizen of NSider, are you OK?” Falcon said, while standing triumphantly, his face gleaming with pride. “Ya… u saved me…but who r u?” X-Naut 128 replied back, still amazed at the fact that he thought that he was saved by a Sage. “Haha! Do you not know of my fame? Are you oblivious of my glory!? I am Falcon the 6^th, HERO OF NSIDER!” Anyone with a decent intelligence level could have detected the obvious bragging and false pride in his voice as well as his cocky introductory speech, but the X-Naut simply stared at him wide-eyed and exclaimed, “I love u! Can u hellp mii on NSider?” Falcon chuckled at the thought of helping out a newcomer and hastily declined, fearing that his reputation might be tarnished. “Sorry kid…” He said, “I have to look out for the safety of this entire community and…”

“And why not?” Invader8 chimed in, walking away without any injuries from the two flamers who were now both knocked unconscious on the road. The two must have had some former history since upon seeing that Invader8 was helping out this user, Falcon6 stiffened and said sternly, “Well, good sir, I have many other important duties to attend t –“ “Such as?” Invader asked, cutting off the Sage mid-sentence. Falcon6 scrambled for words and stuttered until he finally managed to mumble, “Well I… umm…have to… save some NSiders from… the thing…” This did not amuse Invader8 in the slightest, as he just stood there with his arms folded, staring down the mighty Sage. Even X-Naut128 had an indifferent expression on his face and was beginning to doubt the ability of his self-perceived savior. Sensing this, Falcon the 6^th sighed loudly, cursed under his breath, and changed his mind, saying, “You know… I think there is an opening in my schedule… I’ll help you guys out.” “WOO!” X-Naut128 screamed as he leaped into the air with an idiotic ear-to-ear grin on his face. “You’ll have to get used to that.” Invader8 said sarcastically as the trio all walked side-by-side to the Gameplay Help for Newcomers board.

I couldn’t believe the obnoxious amount of good fortune this mindless X-Naut was generating for himself. First, before he is even recognized as a member of the community, he gets a handpicked guardian by Andy to help him get acquainted with the forums and now he has the so-called Hero of NSider on his side. I couldn’t gauge the strength of X-Naut128 and Invader8’s new ally; despite him being a pretentious fool, he was still a Sage and not one to be underestimated. It was just getting more and more difficult to dispose of this lowly Goomba-ranked n00b, one who brought back the painful memories of a cruel death. I was about to follow them to the Gameplay Help for Newcomers board when something of vital importance caught my attention…

CHAPTER 4: From OSider To NSider

About five minutes later a user walked into the room and a look of satisfaction spread across Andy’s face. It was Invader8, a user of average height and build, but also one who seemed very agile and skilled at fighting. His strange yet sturdy green and gray armor did not seem to inhibit his speed either, as he was wearing a chest plate but appeared to be moving with ease. He had dark green hair and a few battle scars on his face, which was exhibiting a stern expression. His weapon was a one-handed plasma rifle that could incinerate any opponent in seconds if they were not on their guard. He also had a small knife in a holster on his right side, which I assume was used for close combat. While he was only a Kremling rank, he looked as if he could rival a Bounty Hunter or even an Ing. It would definitely be more difficult to get rid of the X-Naut with this body guard following him.

Still in the corner of the room, I watched as Invader8 turned to the X-Naut, who was a little frightened of his newfound ally, and said, in a surprisingly friendly voice, “Hey OSider. My name is Invader8 and I will be happy to protect you and help you out as you acquaint yourself with the Nintendo NSider Forums. First we must go to the registration building so that w-“ “WOO!” the X-Naut shouted, blatantly interrupting his introduction message, but he continued on nonetheless. By the look of the expression on his face, Invader8 was used to newcomers like this interrupting him. “Eh hem….at the registration building, you can become a member, gain access to NSider and all of its features and get your very own username. I bet you’re tired of people calling you ‘OSider’ all the time.” The OSider looked a tad puzzled, but then shouted, “Y do ppl call me A n00by OSider!?” Invader had an expression of indifference, but simply sighed and replied, “I can’t imagine why… Now then, shall we proceed to the registration building?” “YAY!” He screamed again, and even NOA_ANDY looked like he was regretting his decision somewhat. “Are you sure about this guy?” Invader8 said softly to Andy, who shrugged and replied, “I don’t know…but we did falsely drag him into this mess. It’s the least that we could do to make up for it.” “Yeah, you’re probably right…” Invader8 said as he glanced back towards the X-Naut , who was jumping up and down with excitement.

Andy then gave Invader a piece of parchment with something written on it. “Here,” he remarked, “give this to Bronsen at the registration building.” Invader nodded and accepted the item as he and the X-Naut walked off towards the registration building. I had no choice but to follow; with the NOAs in close proximity and security around both the courthouse and the registration building undoubtedly heightened because of this incident and the killing I already committed today, it would be way too risky to attempt another murder now. On the flipside, though, it would be advantageous to kill the user now before he became a registered NSider. I hoped for an opportunity to arise as I slipped out of the courthouse without saying a word or making eye contact with a single NOA and pursued the pair.

The couple was strolling at a leisurely pace and it was effortless for me to keep an eye on them. For some reason, the streets were strangely deserted, so my mind began to wander. I thought back to the incident at Celadon and thought of exactly how the scene unfolded. There was just something a bit unusual about the entire thing. The situation replayed in my mind a few times and I was thinking if I could remember any particular details that may shed some light on the situation. “Why would two ordinary spammers try to raid 30,000 posts? How did they even know the posts were there?” These thoughts and more raced through my mind as the massive registration building loomed in the horizon.

I then came to a sudden realization. I didn’t want to believe it at first, but I was sure that I saw the two spammers wearing golden badges on their chests. These spammers must have been wearing golden “N” badges, which meant that they must have been part of the Nicolai93 Organization, one of the biggest, if not the biggest, underground band of criminals, similar to a mafia of some sort. In fact, it is common knowledge amongst assassins, thieves, and many other users, though I’m not sure if the common folk would know about it or not. Regardless, I was still somewhat perplexed as to why the group would send two Paratroopa-ranked users to steal such a high number of posts. I mean, it was enough posts to instantly become a Plumber rank, but perhaps that amount of posts didn’t mean very much to this criminal group. After all, this group has become reputable for a reason and I’m sure that they’re never short on money. I wondered if I was really the only one to realize that they were involved in this attempted robbery, although it really wasn’t much of my concern.

The head of the Nicolai93 Organization was none other than Nicolai93, himself. I have never seen this infamous figure nor have any knowledge of his association other than its name. From what I have heard, he disguises himself as a lower rank to avoid suspicion of his strength, but he’s one of the best fighters in all of NSider. It’s a pretty ingenious strategy and most likely why this organization has been able to remain active for so long. The NSider Police have been trying to track down this elusive group, but have been unsuccessful for years. It made me really curious as to how they were able to remain hidden for so long and exactly what kind of users would be a part of such an organization. The sound of a small pebble bouncing down the road that I accidentally kicked interrupted my thoughts, though, as I mentally returned to focus on the X-Naut and Invader8.

It was nearly sundown as they approached the registration building and the sky was beginning to radiate a deep orange hue. Despite the time, there was a still long line of OSiders waiting to sign up as NSiders. I figured I would have plenty of time to strike, since he would have to wait in this huge line. Just then, however, the perfect opportunity presented itself. Invader8 told the X-Naut to stay behind as he walked over to Bronsen, one of the Knights of Hyrule positioned at the registration building, to give him Andy’s message. The OSider was now standing alone and unarmed with no one willing to protect him. Debating quickly what would be the best way to dispose of this worthless life, I decided I was going to throw one of my daggers at him so that I would not have to go out into the open, even though it was getting dark. When the blade struck him between his eyeballs (or goggles in this case), I would summon it back to my side with dark magic and watch as the OSider painfully fell to the ground. I placed my right hand on the hilt of my dagger and prepared to strike. I was a bit disappointed, however, that the OSider wasn’t making this mission a bit more difficult. He was just standing there, and after all that I’ve been through so far in tracking this X-Naut, I thought that killing him would at least be somewhat difficult. I lined up my shot and was ready to hurl my dagger with pinpoint accuracy when I felt someone grab my arm.

I turned my head to the right to see that it was Invader8, the same guy protecting that X-Naut. “How –“ I began to say, but he cut me off and said sternly, with his plasma rifle pointed to my head, “If you mess with the X-Naut here, I’ll mess you up bad. Got it?” I was agitated that he would talk to me in such a manner so I quickly freed myself from his grip and prepared to fight. As much as I wanted to tear him to shreds, though, I lost the element of surprise and had no intentions of facing that plasma rifle at close quarters. I looked up and saw a slight smirk on his face. He could tell he had me beat, but I didn’t want to support that notion and display any weakness. I looked away from him and grunted, “Fine…” “You better get it.” He shouted rather loudly as he lowered his weapon and returned to the X-Naut with an egotistical step in his stride.

“This might be more of a challenge after all.” I thought to myself, now vowing that I would soon be responsible for both the death of the X-Naut and the death of Invader8. Even though I was frustrated in myself, I felt a strange sense of happiness that this self-assigned mission wouldn’t come to such an anti-climactic close. I twirled my daggers and put them back in the holsters. Even though it would be tougher to dispose of them with Invader8 now constantly on the lookout for assassins and similar threats, I would never back down from a challenge. I could easily kill both of them in combat if I really wanted to. However, as an assassin, subtlety is a huge factor and already having the authorities on your tail is not an ideal position to be in. As I learned from some of my previous missions, patience is eventually rewarded.

I decided to ignore Invader8’s warning, though, and continue to spy on the X-Naut. I scoped out a new location and dashed towards it, invisible to the naked eye. When I arrived, I realized that this was an even better vantage point than the previous one. Better yet, I could listen in on their conversation. “Whar wer u?” the X-Naut asked rather obnoxiously. “I was just attending to some… business…” Invader said softly, glancing back to my previous position only to find it vacant. Returning to his friendly tone, he made eye contact with the OSider and said, “You have been granted special permission to become an NSider immediately by the order of NOA_ANDY, so please follow me and we will sign you up.” I remained stationary as the pair walked towards the registration building, past BRONSEN and PELORD and into the arched entryway. This unnamed OSider was lucky enough to become an NSider, even with an expert assassin on his trail. Getting rid of the X-Naut now might be a little tougher, as he would get to choose a weapon to wield now that he was an NSider. However, I was still confident in my abilities that I could get rid of him with little trouble. There was nothing I could now, though, so I just waited patiently for the registration process to be complete.

CHAPTER 3: The Trial

It has been a while since I’ve passed by the courthouse in NSider and I forgot just how massive it was. The golden edifice was lined with statues of famous video game characters, the centralized icon being Mario holding the scales of justice. It has to be one of the most glamorous buildings aesthetically in all of NSider and it is revered throughout the community as truly being a work of art. This courthouse has been in operation for many, many years, and is one of the premiere architectural achievements of this community.

When the transport vehicle arrived in front of the grand staircase leading up to a pair of bronze doors, I hastily broke off my pursuit and bolted behind a black car parked nearby. The back doors of the vehicle opened up; two officers ordered the X-Naut to emerge from the car. Hesitantly, he rose up, stepped out, and marveled at the beauty that was Turnabout Courthouse. That was quickly interrupted, though, as the two officers whisked him away rather unforgivingly. The OSider was struggling wildly in an attempt to break free from his handcuffs and the grips of the officers, but it was all for naught as the trio disappeared inside the courthouse and the doors slammed shut.

The trials of the Turnabout Courthouse were open to the public, but assassins and other similar classes of fighters were not allowed for safety reasons. It is a prejudiced law in my view but, nonetheless, I realized I had to get inside the building somehow as the main entrance was heavily guarded. I snuck around to the rear, weaving in and out of bushes, when I came across a security guard on patrol. “If I could stun him somehow, I should be able to reach the windows easily,” I thought, so that is exactly what I did. Holding out one of my daggers, I muttered an incantation and a yellow spark flew out of them towards the guard. The oblivious guard was struck square in the face and he quickly fell to the ground. I ran over and, after pocketing some of his posts, looked up towards the windows, hoping that they would be open so I could leap inside like a blur, but it was no use. There were red padlocks on all of the windows, meaning that these windows could only be opened by a user of Sage rank or higher. These red padlocks have simply become known as “locks,” but it isn’t like a normal door lock that I can break open or open with magic. Something about these locks prevents those without access from touching or breaking them. Even spells cast by a user whose rank is lower than Sage will have no effect on these locks.

When I came to terms that the building was completely sealed, I decided that I would resort to risky measures in order to gain access. “Hey!” Someone screamed, and I turned around to find that the guard had regained control of his senses. “Stop right there or I will use force!” He was probably somewhat scared to come face-to-face with an assassin of my caliber, as signified by his slight trembling. I knew that he could not beat me on his own, but I saw his left hand reach back towards a walkie-talkie attached to his belt. Before he could call in reinforcements, I snatched the radio out of his hand and hit him in the arm with the hilt of my dagger. He was knocked back a bit and began clutching his arm in agony. I was satisfied that I managed to break his arm with one blow, but I knew I was not out of this yet. He still retained consciousness and decided to let go of his arm, allowing the mangled limb hang limp, and fired at me with a pistol in the other hand. Unfortunately for him, it was a weapon with an extremely slow fire rate and I dodged the bullets with ease. I wanted to end this battle quickly before more officers arrived due to the commotion, so I deflected the next bullet he shot at me with my dagger’s blade, causing it to bounce back and strike the guard right in the chest. I then dashed forward and performed a very satisfying fatality: beheading the opponent. His detached cranium fell to the grass in a pool of blood.

I twirled my daggers, slid them back into the holsters, and dashed back into hiding as I heard some guards approaching from the front of the courthouse. I realized that this was my opportunity and ran through the surrounding bushes to the front, where the main entrance of the courthouse was now void of any guards. I ran quickly up the stairs so that security cameras would not be able to capture me and entered through the massive doors. Those guards must have been horrified at the sight of seeing one of their co-workers beheaded, though their feelings meant naught to me.

“Please pass through the metal detector, sir.” I heard the voice of a middle-aged security guard speak up from behind me. I turned around and saw the security checkpoint, which was unavoidable now that I had been spotted. A guard was sitting at a desk and next to him was a tall metal detector that I had to walk though to gain entry. Realizing the error of my ways, I hesitated as I thought of how to avoid setting off the alarm. The guard was quickly growing impatient, eventually remarking, “Sir, it’s not that hard and I don’t get paid be the hour. Please enter the metal detector.” With the administrators and NOAs present, there was no way that I wanted to risk setting off the alarm. I was in a tough spot; with nowhere to run, I wasn’t sure how I was going to get passed this one until I heard a faint sound coming from behind the officer’s desk.

The officer sighed and grabbed a walkie-talkie from behind his desk. Holding it up to his ear, he responded “Can you repeat that? The volume was accidentally turned down.” “Krtzz,” the radio crackled, “We have an officer down! Officer down! Do you copy? Emergency maneuvers!” “Whoa!” the guard screamed as he quickly grabbed his gun and ran out the door in a tizzy. Apparently my killing had created a diversion and the security guard forgot about me standing right there. “The fool…” I thought as I just walked around the metal detector and into the main foyer of the courtroom. After a few minutes, I was able to locate the courtroom in which the trial of interest was behind held and slipped inside.

I entered the courtroom just as the trial was about to begin and took my seat in one of the benches towards the back of the room. I looked around and was surprised at just how many authority figures were in attendance. There must have been about five NOAs and even more moderators and Sages all present, the most I have ever seen together at once in my life, although I’m sure there must have been larger congregations at community-wide events. For once, I felt a nervous shiver as I made eye contact with a few of the NOAs. I could tell that some of them were skeptical of my appearance, as I didn’t look to be the most upstanding citizen, but they were probably too distracted to deal with my shady presence.

“All rise!” a bailiff in the corner of the room shouted, which immediately quieted the murmurs of the audience, “The honorable judge Water10 presiding.” Looking at the bailiff, he was very tall and extremely strong. He had spiky blue hair tied with a warrior-like fillet and one of his shoulders was covered in highly durable silver armor. His weapon of choice was not a gun or modern weapon, but rather a large sword that would definitely be too heavy for me to wield. I could probably counter his strength with my speed and reflexes, but he definitely fit the bill of an intimidating bailiff.

The judge walked in the room through a door near the bench on the side of the room opposite from my location. She was wearing a black robe, as all judges do, and had flowing brown hair and a thin stature. Looking more closely at her robe, I noticed that she was wearing a silver pin of the letters “SS”. It looked like a pretty prestigious symbol, so I figured that it must be something only upstanding NSiders are allowed to wear (standing for something like Semi-Sage). Perhaps this was a newly instituted program to award more deserving users with ranks of power, but I was unaware of it at the time. Power is something all users in NSider hope to obtain someday, but only a few users can actually possess it. I am not talking about power in terms of fighting, but the power to control the activity that occurs in the community. There are but a few users that have power on the forums and they are broken down into special ranks, specifically NOA, moderator, Knight of Hyule, Local Knight, and Sage.

Sages are all normal members of NSider that have been promoted to a special rank by the NOAs, themselves. In order to be considered to earn the title of Sage, one must be active in the community and demonstrate a good sense of leadership. After that, the user must complete a rigorous written test. If successful, the user gains a Triforce next to his or her name and has the powers of a Sage. Most of the Sages on NSider are very skilled fighters or intellectual debaters, but all of them do have upgraded moves than those of a normal user. Many NSiders strive for this title, but few achieve it.

The powers of a moderator, Knight of Hyrule, and a Local Knight are all very similar and are often abbreviated Mod, KoH, and LK respectfully. The differences between these ranks are just certain restrictions on where they can use their powers and how they can obtain the rank. Moderators and Knights of Hyrule have the same powers (those similar, yet downgraded, from the abilities of an NOA), but moderators work for the NOAs while Knights of Hyrule are normal users elected to fill the authoritative roles. Local Knights are Knights of Hyrule restricted to using their powers in a particular section of NSider. Very active boards like Power On have multiple Local Knights while something like the Kirby board may only have a couple on hand.

The NOA (short for Nintendo of America) group is comprised of those that founded NSider many years ago. They control everything here, from user activity to special contests to locking certain areas of the community, making it exclusive to only high-ranked members. The head of the NOAs is NOA_ANDY, the ultimate administrator and a man with power not even a G-Mod crystal can exceed. When not fighting, Andy simply appears to be an average citizen, sporting a shaved head and his trademark rectangle-framed glasses. However, when challenged, it is said in ancient texts that he can transform into a gigantic beast wielding dual golden swords, a virtually unstoppable power. He also possesses the ability to decimate large areas with a single snap of his fingers with a move known as “judgment.” Any fighter who challenges him is a fool, as Andy would achieve victory in a matter of seconds with his ability to freely ban a user from NSider at his own discretion. He served as the prosecutor in this court case, which meant it had to have been something serious.

“Thank you, Mario766,” the judge said as she nodded towards the bailiff and sat down in her proper position and, “This is the trial of NSider vs OSider. Andy, please proceed with your opening statement.” NOA_ANDY gave his opening statement, falsely accusing the OSider of attempting to steal 30,000 posts from Celadon. The crowed gasped as he said these words; 30,000 posts are enough to go from Goomba to Plumber in a single day, a feat that is never accomplished by the majority of NSiders in their entire lives. The OSider, looking confused as always, denied all claims, which only lead to another barrage of convincing evidence by the NOA. The defendant was literally shaking his boots and had to be told several times by the judge to stop fidgeting. Even though Water10 didn’t look physically intimidating, she sure did crack down on X-Naut’s courtroom misconduct.

Suddenly, the X-Naut let out a high-pitched squeal and everyone in the courtroom looked at him, oblivious as to what was happening. He turned to the judge and said “Sry… I wus just scard off u guys.” Many of those observing the trial tried to suppress their laughter, but occasional chuckles and giggles could be heard. In NSider, listening to n00bs speak, especially when they don’t realize the mistakes they make, is considered a form of comedy. In fact, it is often the subject of many comedic performances and popular television shows here. The judge banged the gavel several times and everyone quieted down, but something caught my eye. The username “Water10” was in off-white text, symbolizing that the user was only a Tingle rank. Her username was only visible because she was the judge presiding over this case. A user’s name is not visible over their head in common scenarios; as that technology was changed a few years ago for privacy reasons. Now a user’s name will only appear over their head for a few seconds when they rank up, and during authoritative processes such as this. Normally, for trials of this magnitude, a Local Knight or someone similar will serve as the judge, but I quickly overlooked this. That “SS” badge must have had some special privilege of which I was unaware.

When the OSider was asked to give his side of the story, he slowly rose up from his chair and stood in front of where Water10 was seated. He seemed to be having difficulty standing, as his knees seemed to buckle and he was sweating rapidly. The judge and Andy exchanged sarcastic glances and, before the trembling OSider could say a word, he was ordered back to his seat. “Wait!” the X-Naut screamed at the top of his lungs, which pierced my ears like a hot knife through butter. The judge was impressed that the X-Naut said a grammatically correct sentence, even if it was only one word, and allowed the furry creature to speak. The next thing that came out of his mouth caused the whole courtroom to go into shock.

“| \/\/4/\/7 70 54`/ 7|-|47 | |)||) /\/07 ©0/\/\/\/\|7 7|-|053 ©|2|/\/\35 4/\/|) | 4/\/\ ©001”

NOA_ALEX and NOA_SHAUN quickly seized the OSider and prepared to haul him straight to NSider’s prison, which was the closest thing to an impenetrable fortress. The judge slammed her gavel repeatedly to the point where her mahogany bench started to crack and the audience was now chanting in unison that the X-Naut be sent to jail. I remained silent and composed, of course, but chaos like this only occurs so often. It was quite the scene and the administrators present had to motion to the audience to remain quiet despite this travesty. The OSider just spoke in leet, also known as 1337, a language forbidden to use in NSider. Why exactly the language is forbidden, I do not know, but speaking it in the presence of an NOA is generally a guaranteed trip to the gallows.

The infuriated judge was ready to send the OSider to death - a sight that I would have loved to observe - when another user burst through the door and into the room, silencing the crowd. It was ProfessorEGlad, one of the best private eyes in all of NSider. He was somewhat short and had a strange obsession with animals, but his crime-solving ability was second to none. He was also quite the prosecutor, able to rival a moderator or even NOA in that field. He sported a light brown trench coat, a matching hat and pants, and black leather boots. As always, he carried his traditional magnifying glass and spoke with the accent of a detective.

“Look here, see.” He said, full to the brim with confidence, “This OSider is innocent of all charges. By the evidence I have gathered, I have been able to reconstruct the situation and how it happened. Care to watch, eh?” As I said before, his skill was revered throughout NSider, so it was natural that his evidence was accepted in this case. He placed a large brown bag on a table and took out its contents: a projector. At first, I had no idea what he was going to do with that simple device but, when he turned it on, I was amazed. It was a machine that could project fully interactive holograms in the room. When he pressed a large red button, it displayed a re-enactment of the scene almost exactly how it happened. I, of course, was the only thing missing from the simulation.

After his presentation, a group of witnesses entered the room and I recognized them as the other customers in Celadon at the time of the spammer attack. They all testified and told the exact same stories as what was seen in the simulation and what I saw with my own eyes. Following this, the NOAs groaned, knowing that they have lost this legal battle, and dropped all of the charges against the OSider. I almost spoke out against this, mainly out of my personal prejudice against this user, but remained silent. The observers didn’t exactly agree with the decision, mostly due to the 1337 outburst, but it was the right one in terms of what actually happened. “You, OSider, you’re free to go.” NOA_ANDY said facing the X-Naut, who was still oblivious that he won the case, “We’re sorry for the inconvenience and we would all like it if you joined our community. Just keep the 1337 to a minimum.” I cursed under my breath at the sound of these words, knowing that it would be a bit more difficult to kill an armed NSider than an unarmed and unnamed OSider. I veiled my emotions, as always, and continued to listen to their conversation. “YAHOO!” the X-Naut shouted, “Whar do i go?” NOA_ANDY chuckled, partially due to the fact that the X-Naut was so clueless and n00by. Then he said calmly, “Do not worry, OSider, I know someone who can guide you and be your first NSider friend.” Andy then turned to NOA_MATT and said quietly, “Summon Invader8.”

CHAPTER 2: Spammy Situation

About ten minutes passed until all of the chaos died down from that OSider killing, at which time I placed one hand on the hilt of a dagger and readied to attack again. This second OSider didn’t look as clueless and disoriented as the first one did, but he still didn’t look like he would pose much of a threat, especially not to me. He was casually talking to an OSider behind him in line about an unknown subject, completely unaware that his life was about to be brought to a swift conclusion. “Imagine how it must feel to be an OSider…” I muttered, getting off track a bit with my thoughts. Having been born within the NSider community, I never had to endure the humiliation of being an OSider. The stereotype of an OSider is thought of as being lowlier than Goomba regardless of battle prowess, intelligence or other skills. Normally I frown on this mentality, but I am inclined to agree with the majority of NSider on this one. Ninety percent of OSiders are spammy n00bs that should not be allowed into NSider, but of course this community has to be open to everyone.

I was slightly sidetracked with my thoughts to notice the OSider stopped talking and stared forward with a blank expression on his face. I made sure I was concealed just in case. Since an X-Naut was able to take out my father, I did not want to underestimate the power of this race. Though, it was odd that he just stopped so suddenly. Did he hear my voice? Was he really a skilled fighter who just happened to not be registered with NSider…or was he just having a moment of pure stupidity? All of these thoughts and more raced through my head, but he shortly resumed his conversation. He then looked over in the direction of two NSiders nearby who happened to be holding sizable and appetizing ice cream cones. He asked the OSider behind him to save his spot in line and he complied.

I decided to wait a bit until I launched another attack. Doing it in front of an oblivious OSider is quite humorous, but I had no idea who these NSiders were so I didn’t want to risk anything. If it was true that one of them was a rank much higher than mine, it might not have turned out so well and I figured, since this is an easy mission, to play it safe rather than act hastily. Currently I am one of the Djinni rank, which is a little more than half way up the ladder of NSider’s ranks. As I mentioned previously, a user’s rank is generally a good indicator of their abilities in their certain fields. I like to think of myself as the exception, as I fight much better than the usual user of Djinni. However, I’m not sure I would be a match for an F-Zero Pilot or Killer Bees-ranked member of the community, but these users are few and far between. A complete list of ranks can be found in the NSider Tech Support board, but I have them memorized down to the last detail. The normal ranks of NSider and their qualifications are as follows:

Goomba – Join NSider

Cappy – 0 total posts, but must be registered for 3 days

Piranha Plant – 67 total posts

Tektite – 92 total posts

Octorok – 193 total posts

Snifit – 317 total posts

Boo – 402 total posts

Moblin – 561 total posts

Bob-omb – 680 total posts

Shy Guy – 990 total posts

Koopa – 1212 total posts (ability to use a sig shield earned here)

Paratroopa – 1681 total posts

Chain Chomp – 1953 total posts

Tingle – 2206 total posts

Kremling – 2601 total posts

Lakitu – 3100 total posts

Bounty Hunter – 3352 total posts

Gerudo – 3605 total posts

Ing – 4103 total posts

Hammer Bro – 4587 total posts (ability to edit earned here)

Noki – 5047 total posts

Pikmin – 5678 total posts

Djinni – 6427 total posts

Yoshi – 7412 total posts

Kong – 8641 total posts

Pianta – 11257 total posts (ability to delete earned here)

Pokemon Trainer – 14034 total posts

Warpstar Knight – 17349 total posts

Fox Brigade – 21415 total posts

Killer Bees – 23467 total posts

F-Zero Pilot – 26434 total posts

Smash Master – 30589 total posts

Metroid – 33732 total posts

Hero of the Winds – 35113 total posts

Plumber – 37213 total posts (ability to have a greater sig shield earned here)

Of course there are a few special ranks that offset these ranks, such as Arena Champ, Graphic Artist and other seasonal ranks, but those are only temporary. Someday, by some stroke of luck, I hope to achieve the higher ranks, but it seems extremely unlikely for a poor assassin such as me. I am pretty close to Yoshi rank, but with the bridge between that and the next rank, Kong, being another one-thousand posts, I doubt that I would advance from there anytime soon.

Anyway, the X-Naut waddled over to the pair of users, who just stared back with indifferent expressions. He stared at them, as if studying their features, before raising his arms in the air and shouting “AUGH!” I didn’t know whether or not this was some X-Naut language or just jibberish and the two NSiders seemed just as confused as I was. He was just being n00bish like many OSiders before him, which simply gave me more motivation to end his life.

He then leisurely strolled into a store on the outskirts of NSider called Celadon. This was well known for providing some good tips and tricks to newcomers as well as giving them some valuable items to help them live their lives. It was also the only store anywhere near the borders of NSider to accept Karma, another form of currency used by most OSiders, which made it a popular location. Too bad more people didn’t visit the store or NSider might be a somewhat structured community. The X-Naut walked right inside and a smirk spread across my enshrouded face. I figured that, right when he came out of the store, I could easily hold one of my daggers to his neck, cast a minor stun spell, drag him behind the store and kill him quickly and painlessly. However, my optimistic scheming was instantly interrupted by a spree of gunshots coming from inside the store. I quickly ran over and looked into the window of the shop to find to spammers, pointing a gun to the clerk, a few customers scattered on the floor, and a clueless X-Naut cowering in a corner.

The spammers demanded posts, shouting “Put teh postz in da bag lady…u don’t wanna mess with uss Paratroopas!” I scoffed at the sound of this…how could two users of Paratroopa rank even dream of holding up a store such as this. As expected, the clerk refused and tried to defend himself, but he was shot and killed at pointblank range by one of the spammers. This naturally raised everyone’s tension and anxiety except for the X-Naut, who then walked over to the counter, looking to buy something. My first reaction was to slap my forehead in disgust, but I then realized that there was really no difference whether or not the spammers or I killed the X-Naut. Either way, he would be dead and not n00bing up the forums. It would be nice to have his blood on my hands, but the sheer humiliation of being defeated by a lowly spammer was too good to be true. Thus, I decided to remain idle and allow for the scene to unfold.

Hearing the OSider’s footsteps behind him, the second spammer turned around and faced the X-Naut, pointing a glowing ray gun at him. When he revealed this, everyone became even more panic-stricken because it appeared as if a G-Mod crystal was attached to it. These extremely rare and legendary emerald stones can only be harvested in the cave, located south of the Power On RP board, and sell for a very high price. When used properly, they could grant the user with unbelievable amounts of power until all of the energy in the crystal was used up. It could also double as a power source for machines, and would have a similar effect of increasing their powers as well. He didn’t fool me, though, because it was just some cheap plastic, blinking attachment. For once, it probably worked in the OSider’s favor to be an OSider since he hadn’t the foggiest idea what a G-Mod crystal was.

Then, the X-Naut did just about the dumbest thing one could possibly do in a situation like this: yell back at the spammer. “Hai u, stop eet NAO!!!” These spammers were both Paratroopas and not much of a threat in the grand scheme of things, but they still knew how to aim and fire a gun. The first spammer pointed a gun at the frightened, meek OSider, who oddly enough didn’t even seem to notice. “This is perfect,” I thought, “the OSider will get killed by newbie spammers and I don’t even have to lift a finger.” Right when a slight smirk crossed my face, the OSider hastily swatted the gun out of the spammer’s hand and got into what resembled a fighting pose. His strike was quick, but still not very impressive, as he should have tried to use the gun himself. Luckily, the spammers were probably at the same IQ level and decided to face the OSider in hand-to-hand combat. The second spammer lunged at the X-Naut rather than shooting him with his gun…and missed horribly. The petit OSider ungracefully parried the lunge as the spammer hit the wall with a loud thud. “Perhaps he won’t be such a bad target after all,” I said softly to myself, “I could use a somewhat challenging mission anyway. Recently competition has become somewhat of a rarity…”

Unexpectedly, the spammer quickly recovered from the lunge and punched the OSider hard in the stomach. It was odd that a mere Paratroopa could recover that fast, but my concerns were answered when I saw his dark green screen name. The user collected enough posts from the dead clerk to rank up to a Chain Chomp. The punch was so forceful that the OSider flew across the room and smashed into a wooden shelf, breaking it, and falling to the floor in a pile of disheveled merchandise. The first spammer, still stunned that his gun was whacked out of his hand, regained control of his senses, picked up his gun off the floor, and pointed at the dazed X-Naut sitting atop the wreckage. “Finally one of these spammers is going to put an end to this,” I thought with anticipation; but it was too good to be true. I started to hear feint sirens in the distance, gradually getting louder as the tense seconds passed. “Oh no…” I groaned, “The NSider police…”

The police force of NSider was small and most of the users were only moderately skilled officers. However, with certain elites feared throughout the forum on the force, most users with similar roles as myself back off when they hear the sirens to avoid confrontation with them. They generally don’t treat assassins with much respect, but that hostility is probably justified since killing people is generally frowned upon. Luckily, I was hidden behind Celadon because when the white car pulled up, I saw Rexy_SOS’ face in the driver’s seat. Possibly the best officer in all of NSider, he stepped out of his prestigious patrol car, his shiny boots striking the road with an intimidating thump, and I noticed many bystanders glancing over at the impressive cop. He had a chic yellow uniform bearing multiple badges; merits; and medals, a very expensive and powerful gatling gun-like weapon grasped by his burly hands, and his trademark whistle secured between his teeth. While he is a little stout, he has lore for violence and is a bundle of aggressive energy just waiting to explode. Criminals, foes, and even some of his allies quake in his presence.

The officer burst into Celadon and noticed the OSider sitting in the middle of the wreckage with a dumbfounded look on his face. Rexy_SOS, quick to jump to violent conclusions, mistakenly accused the OSider and shouted, “You, spammer! You’re in big trouble now!” In about five minutes time, a black metal-plated jail transport arrived on the scene and the X-Naut was thrown inside, slamming painfully against the unforgiving interior and still trying to plead his case to the unappeasable officer. Rexy_SOS climbed back into his police car and sped off, followed by the transport. I quickly pursued them, sticking to the shadows so I would remain hidden from the masses (after all, there are many shady places in NSider). As an expert assassin, I was effortlessly able to keep pace with the speedy vehicle and I followed it all the way to Turnabout Courthouse. I shuddered at the thought of a mere OSider facing the all-powerful administrators in a court of law.