NSider is one of the most active communities in the known world. It is so large that it had to be split up into what the locals call “boards,” and even further subdivisions are called “threads.” Every board corresponds to a specific Nintendo franchise, such as Mario, Zelda and Pokèmon. Members of NSider, known as “NSiders”, can choose to frequent any board they choose, but they usually tend to establish their house or home base of some sort in their favorite board. Threads can range from tall skyscrapers to a set of neighboring buildings, and serve as the offices, discussion centers, shops, and stores of NSider. Threads are located in their appropriate boards, so a weapons shop for energy-based weaponry will most likely be found in the Metroid Board. Anything that cannot be categorized but is still related to the NSider community is generally found in the Power On board, the biggest part of NSider. Many of these boards have their own subcultures and customs, making each part of NSider unique.
There are a few boards known for notorious tendencies, such as the Epic Center’s reputation for producing powerful mages, the Zelda board serving as a breeding ground for skilled swordsman, and the Smash Bros. board having many users specializing in hand-to-hand combat. Many other boards have also been made famous for other reasons, such as the Star Fox board’s rigorous program for pilots (in fact, most of NSider’s air force have their homes on the Star Fox board) and the Metroid board’s recent major strides in a establishing a space exploration program. Certain other boards have economic advantages over others and these comparative advantages being used to their fullest potential are what make NSider function smoothly as one grand community. It really is admirable how everything, from the political system to the economy, seem to operate almost ideally. I don’t have any disrespect directed towards those involved in those trades, but combat is my main concern. I solely care about being a strong, reliable, and efficient fighter, in addition to my trivia contest of course.
While these outlooks that certain boards can only do certain things result in some stereotypes, most boards take pride in their specialties. However, some boards do have a negative reputation, such as Power On breeding spammers, which are users that exist only to fill the forums with stupidity and chaos. Spammers are frowned upon by the NOAs and upstanding members of the community, as they usually only exist to satisfy their selfish purposes. Spammers often clutter boards with senseless threads marked as spam, which causes disruption to normal board functions. There are also more serious versions of spammers out there called flamers, who not only fulfill the role of a spammer but also possess the ability to control fire and can summon that element at will. In addition, they have the uncanny ability to bombard a user with offensive language and slurs, which can cause anyone who is not mentally sharp to literally have an emotional breakdown. Another category of users perceived as a threat to the community is that of a troll, which can sometimes be the most deceptive of all. They will blend in with the crowd, acting like a normal bystander, but may suddenly and intentionally provoke a user into a foolish argument, which can erupt into a large-scale fiasco if others get involved. These thugs are perceived a danger to the average townsfolk, but are laughable in the eyes of a warrior.
Even though, on the surface, NSider can be seen as a high-functioning and ever-growing community, one can’t say that it is without its faults. The police force here is inadequate to say the least. Those on the force are adept officers, but there are simply too many people in NSider to control with such a small force. The recently instituted Crossing Guardian program was an improvement, which placed seven guard towers around NSider, each armed with highly esteemed officials, most of which are Sages or Plumbers. However, this still was nowhere near enough to control the amount of chaos that exists on the underside of this community. As a result, unless something is directly requested by the NOAs, the founders of the community, the judiciary process is very sluggish and unreliable. In addition to a lack of law enforcement, the rank system of NSider presents a sense of elitism, which is the unfound sense of superiority by those who have more posts than others. A user’s rank is determined by the amount of posts they have collected in their entire lives, so those who have higher ranks do not necessarily have more money. I am currently a Djinni rank and I still find myself fighting for survival week after week. Generally users of higher ranks are stronger than newcomers, but some people exploit this to make themselves seem stronger when they are actually weaklings hiding behind their ranks.
To further enforce elitism, users are given certain combative advantages if their ranks are higher than certain points. Those with more than 1212 posts (a rank known as Koopa) can purchase signatures, which can be used as special shields in battle to block more powerful attacks. Because of this, it has been granted the nickname “sig shield,” and plays a significant factor in the strength of the NSider military and police force. A user is automatically granted a signature at this point, but the default signature is cheap and fragile, as it broke in my first mission after receiving it. The Fan Art board is the place to go for high-quality signatures, but they are pretty expensive and I cannot afford to make such an investment, especially when I can just rely on my speed to dodge attacks.
Achieving the rank of Hammer Bro. (4,587 posts) gives a user the ability to edit their actions in the middle of an attack. I, personally, choose to take advantage of this, as this coupled with my blazing speed can make me truly unpredictable. As an assassin, unpredictability and the element of surprise is key in being able to best tougher opponents. Pianta, which is a rank earned by getting 11,287 posts, enables a user to delete previous actions. It’s complicated to explain and I don’t even fully understand the process behind it, but it does allow users to heal remarkably quickly, as they can alter the effects of previous attacks against them. It's an ability I do not have access to yet and one that I probably won’t get for a while, but it is another tool that those few fortunate enough to achieve this rank can take advantage of.
Speaking of which, fighting is one of the major aspects of NSider and, even though it is somewhat frowned upon by the most of authorities here, there is a whole board dedicated to fighting, known as Power On RP, and many other skirmishes are commonplace amongst NSider. Luckily, the medical team here is fantastic; with revolutionary technologies like recover staves and megavitamins, they can heal any non-fatal injury in a matter of minutes. Back when I was a child, these medical marvels definitely saved me on more than one occasion. Every NSider interested in combat, which makes up the large majority of users here, carries around his or her weapon of choice and it is a goal of many users to become the top of their specific fighting style in the entire community. There is pretty much everything one can imagine here, from warriors with giant axes to those with explosive weaponry to users shooting various fruits out of wooden guns. It’s crazy and chaotic, but definitely a place that can be called “home” by myself and many others.
I was leisurely walking around the town square on a mostly sunny day, sticking to the shadows and alleyways, of course. It was just a usual day: I finished my rigorous morning training session and was now lurking around town to see if any unusual activity was going on. As I said before, as assassin usually has no source of income, so I also doubled as a mercenary-for-hire, but only for serious jobs. However, there haven’t been any of those lately and I needed some food since I was nearly out of money. Although I do not particularly enjoy stealing for my own benefit; I sometimes find myself having to do it to stay alive.
After spotting a convenience store, I decided that I would approach it by going around, cutting through alleys and obscure passages until I ended up next to the store. Then, I would slip in the front entrance, grab some food, and leave. Approaching it is one of the most difficult parts. While I can dash across the main square so fast that many cannot see me, being caught by a rare skilled fighter, particularly a Sage, is not a position any assassin wants to be in. After navigating the maze of narrow roads, I pressed my back against the side of the small, tan building and peered in the window next to me. There was only one other customer in the shop and he was a Tektite, so I figured this mission would not be very much trouble. However, something else of interest caught my eye. On the flat screen television mounted on the wall of the store, there was a news story about an X-Naut getting hit by a couple driving a go-kart. I almost chuckled at the sound of this due to my hatred of that species. The news reported was explaining how the driver of the kart then got out and helped the X-Naut get to the NSider hospital, even though he was an OSider. Any user is dubbed with the lowly title of “OSider” if they are not registered as a member of the NSider community and thereby banned from entering/leaving the city. The only exception was a medical emergency, which is apparently what came into effect here.
I stole enough bread, fresh water, cheese and meat from the store to last me for a couple of days and shoved them in my pockets before hastily exiting the store. The owner didn’t even realize someone nabbed the items in his inventory until I was already a good distance away from the store. The thought of that OSider getting hit by a go-kart was still lingering in my mind. Not only is it bad to get hit by a go-kart, but also being an OSider just adds insult to injury (literally). “Stupid OSider…” I muttered softly, “If they keep coming here, the Gameplay Help Board will be overflowing with n00bs.” Someone must’ve heard me, as an older user glanced over to my direction, but I dashed behind a building before he or she even caught sight of me. This kind of speed is a quality unique to skilled assassins and other similar fighters of my caliber. It is a quality that is largely feared in the community; one of which we take the fullest advantage.
A few days later, I found myself embarking on a new quest. ThePastaKing, a trivia regular, hired me to kill some new user that was just about to register. ThePastaKing is a very tall, slender, and skilled fighter who uses a bunch of odd pasta-based weapons to defeat his foes. They are definitely odd and unorthodox, but surprisingly strong and effective. He always wears a golden uniform and likes it when people call him “Uncle PK,” for reasons beyond my knowledge. He often boasts about his achievements and claims to be of a royal bloodline, despite there not being even the slightest shred of evidence to support such a claim. He said that he accidentally lead the new user here and wanted to eliminate the OSider before he caused any problems as an NSider. He had to hire me because, in his words, “My rigatoni rocket isn’t exactly a subtle form of attack…” I was very trusting of ThePastaKing; he and I formed a tight bond through my trivia contest, so I accepted the contract without questioning his motives. These types of jobs are common and simple too, since newcomers are extremely easy to trick and even easier to best in combat. I headed to the Registration Building, a large brick structure located right near the Gameplay Help and Tech Support boards, to intercept the user before he had a chance to mingle with the crowd.
Outside of NSider, there is almost always a long line of OSiders waiting to become registered NSiders. The traffic to this forum seemed to increase in recent years, mainly due to the breakthrough Nintendo DS handheld and Nintendo Wii console, which were just released about nine months ago. The entrance is always guarded by two Knights of Hyrule, who are other authoritative figures of the forums. I looked for someone who fit the description: extremely short, brown hair, brown eyes and an obsession with soccer. I scanned the line of OSiders waiting to enter until I saw one that matched all of the physical qualities and was wearing a Super Mario Strikers jersey. “That must be him…” I thought, as I left the boundaries of NSider and moved into position behind a large stone statue of the Master Sword. One good thing about being an NSider is that, once registered, you can leave and re-enter at any time and you can take your weapons with you.
When I laid eyes on the confused OSider, he didn’t even seem to know where he was going and it was clear to me that he was unarmed, so I decided to use my trademark “Shadow Slash” technique. Even though it was a bit slower than a normal strike, I felt like putting on a flashy show, since this was the first OSider killing I have done in a while. Racing out from behind my cover, I cut right in front of him and slashed “SM” into his chest with my daggers. Then, I doubled back and left “41” after those two letters. The blood did not remain on the daggers, but rather spilled right off and dripped on the road, leaving the daggers always looking like new (and the murder untraceable). After returning to my original spot, I glanced over to see the priceless look on the OSider’s face. The attack’s duration was about one second and it looked as if he were hit by a truck. His eyes were bulging out, his jaw wide open and his two hands clutching his stomach. When he collapsed on the cobblestone road, screams of terror were heard everywhere as OSiders were no longer in an organized line, but rather running around in a frenzied panic. This was typical after any OSider killing and the Knights of Hyrule guarding the gate didn’t even attempt to quell the commotion.
I was just about ready to return to ThePastaKing to tell him the job was finished until something else caught my attention. He was a little bandaged and shaken up, but there was no doubt in my mind that it was that X-Naut from the news. He was running around like the idiot OSider he was, but that meant that he was in line to become an NSider. Just by looking at the stupid spammy expression on his face, it was clear to me that this guy would be nothing but trouble for the forum. A bit of adrenaline kicked in, as seeing him caused me to relive that one painful evening. Killing him now would definitely cause the Knights of Hyrule and maybe even the moderators to take action, as two killings in a short time span would’ve been very suspicious. So, I decided to make it my personal mission to not let this user become an NSider. I moved behind a bush shaped like the Blue Falcon and waited for my opportunity to strike.
