About ten minutes passed until all of the chaos died down from that OSider killing, at which time I placed one hand on the hilt of a dagger and readied to attack again. This second OSider didn’t look as clueless and disoriented as the first one did, but he still didn’t look like he would pose much of a threat, especially not to me. He was casually talking to an OSider behind him in line about an unknown subject, completely unaware that his life was about to be brought to a swift conclusion. “Imagine how it must feel to be an OSider…” I muttered, getting off track a bit with my thoughts. Having been born within the NSider community, I never had to endure the humiliation of being an OSider. The stereotype of an OSider is thought of as being lowlier than Goomba regardless of battle prowess, intelligence or other skills. Normally I frown on this mentality, but I am inclined to agree with the majority of NSider on this one. Ninety percent of OSiders are spammy n00bs that should not be allowed into NSider, but of course this community has to be open to everyone.
I was slightly sidetracked with my thoughts to notice the OSider stopped talking and stared forward with a blank expression on his face. I made sure I was concealed just in case. Since an X-Naut was able to take out my father, I did not want to underestimate the power of this race. Though, it was odd that he just stopped so suddenly. Did he hear my voice? Was he really a skilled fighter who just happened to not be registered with NSider…or was he just having a moment of pure stupidity? All of these thoughts and more raced through my head, but he shortly resumed his conversation. He then looked over in the direction of two NSiders nearby who happened to be holding sizable and appetizing ice cream cones. He asked the OSider behind him to save his spot in line and he complied.
I decided to wait a bit until I launched another attack. Doing it in front of an oblivious OSider is quite humorous, but I had no idea who these NSiders were so I didn’t want to risk anything. If it was true that one of them was a rank much higher than mine, it might not have turned out so well and I figured, since this is an easy mission, to play it safe rather than act hastily. Currently I am one of the Djinni rank, which is a little more than half way up the ladder of NSider’s ranks. As I mentioned previously, a user’s rank is generally a good indicator of their abilities in their certain fields. I like to think of myself as the exception, as I fight much better than the usual user of Djinni. However, I’m not sure I would be a match for an F-Zero Pilot or Killer Bees-ranked member of the community, but these users are few and far between. A complete list of ranks can be found in the NSider Tech Support board, but I have them memorized down to the last detail. The normal ranks of NSider and their qualifications are as follows:
Goomba – Join NSider
Cappy – 0 total posts, but must be registered for 3 days
Piranha Plant – 67 total posts
Tektite – 92 total posts
Octorok – 193 total posts
Snifit – 317 total posts
Boo – 402 total posts
Moblin – 561 total posts
Bob-omb – 680 total posts
Shy Guy – 990 total posts
Koopa – 1212 total posts (ability to use a sig shield earned here)
Paratroopa – 1681 total posts
Chain Chomp – 1953 total posts
Tingle – 2206 total posts
Kremling – 2601 total posts
Lakitu – 3100 total posts
Bounty Hunter – 3352 total posts
Gerudo – 3605 total posts
Ing – 4103 total posts
Hammer Bro – 4587 total posts (ability to edit earned here)
Noki – 5047 total posts
Pikmin – 5678 total posts
Djinni – 6427 total posts
Yoshi – 7412 total posts
Kong – 8641 total posts
Pianta – 11257 total posts (ability to delete earned here)
Pokemon Trainer – 14034 total posts
Warpstar Knight – 17349 total posts
Fox Brigade – 21415 total posts
Killer Bees – 23467 total posts
F-Zero Pilot – 26434 total posts
Smash Master – 30589 total posts
Metroid – 33732 total posts
Hero of the Winds – 35113 total posts
Plumber – 37213 total posts (ability to have a greater sig shield earned here)
Of course there are a few special ranks that offset these ranks, such as Arena Champ, Graphic Artist and other seasonal ranks, but those are only temporary. Someday, by some stroke of luck, I hope to achieve the higher ranks, but it seems extremely unlikely for a poor assassin such as me. I am pretty close to Yoshi rank, but with the bridge between that and the next rank, Kong, being another one-thousand posts, I doubt that I would advance from there anytime soon.
Anyway, the X-Naut waddled over to the pair of users, who just stared back with indifferent expressions. He stared at them, as if studying their features, before raising his arms in the air and shouting “AUGH!” I didn’t know whether or not this was some X-Naut language or just jibberish and the two NSiders seemed just as confused as I was. He was just being n00bish like many OSiders before him, which simply gave me more motivation to end his life.
He then leisurely strolled into a store on the outskirts of NSider called Celadon. This was well known for providing some good tips and tricks to newcomers as well as giving them some valuable items to help them live their lives. It was also the only store anywhere near the borders of NSider to accept Karma, another form of currency used by most OSiders, which made it a popular location. Too bad more people didn’t visit the store or NSider might be a somewhat structured community. The X-Naut walked right inside and a smirk spread across my enshrouded face. I figured that, right when he came out of the store, I could easily hold one of my daggers to his neck, cast a minor stun spell, drag him behind the store and kill him quickly and painlessly. However, my optimistic scheming was instantly interrupted by a spree of gunshots coming from inside the store. I quickly ran over and looked into the window of the shop to find to spammers, pointing a gun to the clerk, a few customers scattered on the floor, and a clueless X-Naut cowering in a corner.
The spammers demanded posts, shouting “Put teh postz in da bag lady…u don’t wanna mess with uss Paratroopas!” I scoffed at the sound of this…how could two users of Paratroopa rank even dream of holding up a store such as this. As expected, the clerk refused and tried to defend himself, but he was shot and killed at pointblank range by one of the spammers. This naturally raised everyone’s tension and anxiety except for the X-Naut, who then walked over to the counter, looking to buy something. My first reaction was to slap my forehead in disgust, but I then realized that there was really no difference whether or not the spammers or I killed the X-Naut. Either way, he would be dead and not n00bing up the forums. It would be nice to have his blood on my hands, but the sheer humiliation of being defeated by a lowly spammer was too good to be true. Thus, I decided to remain idle and allow for the scene to unfold.
Hearing the OSider’s footsteps behind him, the second spammer turned around and faced the X-Naut, pointing a glowing ray gun at him. When he revealed this, everyone became even more panic-stricken because it appeared as if a G-Mod crystal was attached to it. These extremely rare and legendary emerald stones can only be harvested in the cave, located south of the Power On RP board, and sell for a very high price. When used properly, they could grant the user with unbelievable amounts of power until all of the energy in the crystal was used up. It could also double as a power source for machines, and would have a similar effect of increasing their powers as well. He didn’t fool me, though, because it was just some cheap plastic, blinking attachment. For once, it probably worked in the OSider’s favor to be an OSider since he hadn’t the foggiest idea what a G-Mod crystal was.
Then, the X-Naut did just about the dumbest thing one could possibly do in a situation like this: yell back at the spammer. “Hai u, stop eet NAO!!!” These spammers were both Paratroopas and not much of a threat in the grand scheme of things, but they still knew how to aim and fire a gun. The first spammer pointed a gun at the frightened, meek OSider, who oddly enough didn’t even seem to notice. “This is perfect,” I thought, “the OSider will get killed by newbie spammers and I don’t even have to lift a finger.” Right when a slight smirk crossed my face, the OSider hastily swatted the gun out of the spammer’s hand and got into what resembled a fighting pose. His strike was quick, but still not very impressive, as he should have tried to use the gun himself. Luckily, the spammers were probably at the same IQ level and decided to face the OSider in hand-to-hand combat. The second spammer lunged at the X-Naut rather than shooting him with his gun…and missed horribly. The petit OSider ungracefully parried the lunge as the spammer hit the wall with a loud thud. “Perhaps he won’t be such a bad target after all,” I said softly to myself, “I could use a somewhat challenging mission anyway. Recently competition has become somewhat of a rarity…”
Unexpectedly, the spammer quickly recovered from the lunge and punched the OSider hard in the stomach. It was odd that a mere Paratroopa could recover that fast, but my concerns were answered when I saw his dark green screen name. The user collected enough posts from the dead clerk to rank up to a Chain Chomp. The punch was so forceful that the OSider flew across the room and smashed into a wooden shelf, breaking it, and falling to the floor in a pile of disheveled merchandise. The first spammer, still stunned that his gun was whacked out of his hand, regained control of his senses, picked up his gun off the floor, and pointed at the dazed X-Naut sitting atop the wreckage. “Finally one of these spammers is going to put an end to this,” I thought with anticipation; but it was too good to be true. I started to hear feint sirens in the distance, gradually getting louder as the tense seconds passed. “Oh no…” I groaned, “The NSider police…”
The police force of NSider was small and most of the users were only moderately skilled officers. However, with certain elites feared throughout the forum on the force, most users with similar roles as myself back off when they hear the sirens to avoid confrontation with them. They generally don’t treat assassins with much respect, but that hostility is probably justified since killing people is generally frowned upon. Luckily, I was hidden behind Celadon because when the white car pulled up, I saw Rexy_SOS’ face in the driver’s seat. Possibly the best officer in all of NSider, he stepped out of his prestigious patrol car, his shiny boots striking the road with an intimidating thump, and I noticed many bystanders glancing over at the impressive cop. He had a chic yellow uniform bearing multiple badges; merits; and medals, a very expensive and powerful gatling gun-like weapon grasped by his burly hands, and his trademark whistle secured between his teeth. While he is a little stout, he has lore for violence and is a bundle of aggressive energy just waiting to explode. Criminals, foes, and even some of his allies quake in his presence.
The officer burst into Celadon and noticed the OSider sitting in the middle of the wreckage with a dumbfounded look on his face. Rexy_SOS, quick to jump to violent conclusions, mistakenly accused the OSider and shouted, “You, spammer! You’re in big trouble now!” In about five minutes time, a black metal-plated jail transport arrived on the scene and the X-Naut was thrown inside, slamming painfully against the unforgiving interior and still trying to plead his case to the unappeasable officer. Rexy_SOS climbed back into his police car and sped off, followed by the transport. I quickly pursued them, sticking to the shadows so I would remain hidden from the masses (after all, there are many shady places in NSider). As an expert assassin, I was effortlessly able to keep pace with the speedy vehicle and I followed it all the way to Turnabout Courthouse. I shuddered at the thought of a mere OSider facing the all-powerful administrators in a court of law.
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